The Quitter

Working at ILS in Vegas

I did it!  I finally quit my job, put in my notice!  Said sayonara to my window office, multi-personality boss and life as I’ve know it for a long, long time.  

GASP!!!  I did whaaat??  

Can someone please teach me how to be a BIG GIRL and get over this decision?!  It’s something I’ve thought about for years since I’ve always known deep down I wanted a family some day.  And when that day came I knew I’d have to decide how I wanted to raise said family.

Said Family

Yea, yea, I’ve heard it all.  The pros and cons of staying home versus working.  I clearly remember a heated Oprah with moms from both sides of the fence hashing it out and making me not want to be them.  So why is it so hard to choose between work and family, ladies (and a few gents)?  Seriously, I’m such an opinionated gal (more on this later) to begin with so shouldn’t it be especially easy for me?  

Well, here I am after my decision.  Wondering what the heck I’m going to do with my life.  And my family’s for that matter.  New to the stay-at-home-mom job thing.  It is a “job” right?  I mean, if not, what the heck am I doing?  I’ve always worked so I have to at least pretend it’s super hard or I might, I dunno, feel like a failure or something??  

And when I say “new” above, I mean really new.  Like I haven’t even made it to my last day of work.  It’s the first day of my last week and I’m a ball of emotions.  There is the fear that I’m making the wrong choice and I’ll be stressed out and horrible as a mom at home.  Next comes the worry about losing the me i’ve known for so long.  Will I just be in a sweatsuit (hopefully a cute one) each day pulling my hair out while I chase Louie around the house and struggle to get dinner on the table for  my husband?

My Future?

I’d like to imagine the fantasy where I’m up everyday sending Joe off to work with a kiss and a healthy lunch.  Then Louie and I have an amazing day of tending to the organic garden, play time at the park, a workout (my body IS AWESOME in this fantasy), maybe some light reading and then a fabulous dinner from the garden along with Joe’s wine made from our very own grapes.  Ahhh...this sounds great!  

My Boys!

So what’s it going to be?  I guess only time will tell.  And this blog if I’m brave enough to confess.